Old Smiley

“Old Smiley”


I was in Denver Colorado selling roofs after the biggest hail storm in the world had occurred, July 1989.
Sometimes I got leads as we salesmen say,
and had the name and address of someone who wanted an estimate on a new roof.
But mostly I did ‘cold calling’, that is just knocking on a door and saying hi! Can I give you an estimate on a new roof? I have done as many as ten estimates a day cold calling. And these were medium shake roofs and cost $6,000.00 each.
One day I was making my rounds and walked up and knocked on a door. A nice friendly guy opened the door and said sure! Go ahead. After I had climbed on the roof and measured it and written my proposal. I knocked on the door again, and the owner came out and said:
“Before you come in,”
” I have this dog.
It is a good dog and has never bitten anyone.
I said, well that’s no problem,
I love dogs and they almost always like me. The guy tried to tell me something about the dog’s habit of baring his teeth and how he does not mean anything bad, it’s just the way he looks. I went on in the home owner’s house and I could hear him talking to the dog, John.
There was a dog. It was medium size, long hair, black dog, just a perfectly normal looking dog. I moved closer thinking the guy was crazy.
When the dog snapped back his lips and showed a mean looking bunch of dog teeth in a perfect snarl!
It didn’t look like anything but a snarl! This dog was saying in dog language that he fully intended on killing me! I was somewhat taken aback. And noticed the dog’s tail was wagging and the snarl was there too. I told the man “I see what you mean,
he is smiling at you with his back end
and growling at you with his front end”
The guy laughed and said that is just about the most original explanation I have ever heard yet!
Smiling with his rear and growling with his with his front!

I can see how folks would be confused,
wondering which end to believe!
Which end to believe!
Which end to believe!
The homeowner said.
We were both having a good time. What’s his name again? Just… John.
The owner said.

John is a boring name this dog should have a name that is just for him,
a name that is special,
original! He said yes I know but we have tried for 3 years
to think of an appropriate name for him and we always draw a blank. I said well, if he were my dog I would name him Smiler,
or smiley,
Old Smiley!
That’s it!
Old Smiley!
Smiley John!

I visited and the guy said they were going to keep the insurance money as long as they could before they put on the roof. But when they did it I would get the job.
I thanked him and left,
he was real nice and I made a note to call back in the spring when the snow had melted and we could work again. Then just went on next door and kept working.
It was several months later when I had gone back to Texas
my hound Suemay had died and it broke my heart.
She had died in her dog pen in the middle of hunting season.
Died alone,
as I was up in Denver trying to make enough money to take them all out west and hunt all winter long! Before my hounds who were at their prime were too old.
I didn’t know Sue May had been poisoned but then Katy died, her pups too,
and then Joe dog died.
But not to digress,

I talked to Joe Manino back in Denver, I was talking to someone else in the office Larry Walker I think, Joe was there and heard my name and said is that Jack Hamilton!
Let me talk to him! and he said Jack!
I got to tell you about that dog you named!
That guy called in and we did his roof but when he called in he was laughing his ass off and he talked for almost 45 minutes, telling me about you and how that name you gave that dog of his had been worth a barrel of whiskey!
I can’t remember the name but… I said Old Smiley? Smiley! Smiley! That’s it! ha ha ha……

Joe said the homeowner was running on
about how he was telling his family about you.
That Texan from that roofing company
who after taking one look at John,
the dog we had tried for 3 years to think of a good name for,
an original name for an original dog,
Jack took one look at John and said , “I would call him Smiler or Smiley!
Yeah!
Old Smiley!
and named him in a second!

The problem that my entire family,
and it is a big family too,
Tried for three years to solve!
Leave it to a Texan to name a dog!

The guy said “we were all having a big family dinner,
months after I had met Jack.
The dog had adjusted to being called Smiley
and even liked the name himself!
I guess that’s because every time anyone said the name he smiles, and the entire roof full of people starts laughing! We were laughing and just having a good time when some one,
my wife I think said:

“Where did that name come from I thought his name was John! And I told her about that Texan from that roofing company.
Jack Hamilton was his name. That Texan, he just took one look at John,
and never hesitated saying
“I would call him Smiley!” And then we laughed at that!
on on and on he went and how he was so glad to call in
and give you the order and I told him
“Jack had gone back to Texas
but that you would get some money off it.
Joe Manino said that “I kept telling the guy that I had work
to do, and I had to go.
And the guy just kept on and on.
You really could name a dog, he said! And if he ever had another he would call you
and get your help naming his dog!
That his entire family had been hysterical
for the last however long it was, 4-5-6 months.
And thank you for such a good name for such a good dog.
Ha ha ha…
I never did get any commission off that job however.
The end.



J. Knife